I didn’t consider this episode until Thanksgiving Eve and I’m recording it on Black Friday. Mental health should be addressed freely at anytime, but it becomes exceptionally hard during the holidays.
Society becomes stuck between slowing down to spend time with family and friends and getting caught up in the holiday shopping hype. Maybe you don’t live in the same city as your family and it is hard to travel b/c of lack of money or receiving multiple days off from work. Or maybe you’ve been in a relationship for 3,4,5 years and this is the 1st holiday without that special person. Look I get it. I’ve been there myself one way or the other.
For the AA community speaking on mental health has been taboo as we default to church or religion. Mental health is not subject to a one size fits all cure by Jesus. For many of us we feel pressured to meet the standards of our respective religion, but that’s another episode. I’ve had the chance to address mental health in episode Better Health, Better Mind with Dr. Dion Metzger and my Perspective of Black Lives Matter with therapist Brandon Jones.
This is the thing we all have our collective and individual pressures that drive us crazy. A few months ago a male colleague confided in me about all of the police shootings and he would cry randomly. I commend him for telling me this. I don’t know how many women or even his homeboys he was able to share this with. I know many of our men are taught not to show or discuss emotion. When the fact of the matter is it takes a mentally, emotionally strong person to express their authentic themselves with any loved one in a safe environment.
Many of my sisters are looking for love. It’s not even in the wrong places. I get disappointed that too many women are single. The dating stories I hear from my friends are hilarious, ridiculous, and quite sad. I don’t have any personal stories to share since I stopped dating 8 years ago. But my last two clusterfuck relationships ended and they were significant enough for me to see a therapist. I took the responsibility of being the common denominator. Why am I attracting these types of people, situations in my life. I knew advice from girlfriends were not always the best advice. Granted I was young, I’m in my 30s now and I have learned a lot about myself, people, values, and relationships. I’m not saying every woman needs to see a relationship expert or a therapist.
Entrepreneurship OMG where do I begin. It is a tough starting a business whether full time or as on the side. In most cases time can be an enemy or a friend. You have all these things to do, with plans to do them right, and hopefully it is received well. Received well meaning you are reaching your goals whether financial and/or influence. Now is the time for parties and family gatherings so people will ask, how’s your little podcast going? How’s that project (you know that special you ran in March) going? How will you deal with that question if things haven’t been going as planned. Another worse case scenario, is if you asked for seed money and haven’t provided updates. Or how do I make payroll when I didn’t have a successful launch or I’m in a slow period? A lot of these issues are popping up more and more among the business community. I’m not talking about burnout. I’m talking about the pressure, the responsibility of success that goes unaddressed.
What I am saying is if you recognize an unhealthy pattern in your life, a friend or significant other, that is affecting you or them ongoing basis. therapy has crossed your mind it is okay to explore that option. It is okay to seek help. Well Michelle, it is an extra expense. Yes, it is. But we can’t afford to loose you. I’ve seen therapist off/on throughout my life. I started by using my school counselors especially on the university level. That is billed in your tuition. If you have a job research to see if their is an Employer Assistance Program (EAP). You can call the 800 or visit the website, search through therapist or relevant programs. I was able to receive the first five sessions for free. That allowed me to become comfortable for a commitment and I saw her for 2 years. I have never been diagnosed. Seeing a therapist doesn’t lead to an immediate diagnosis, but it may lead to some comfort and progress.
I want to encourage you to check on people, invite people, visit and call folks during this holiday time. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself as we head into 2017. You are loved. I believe in you. A personal connection leads to an influential network. Thanks for networking with Michelle.
